I guess I can talk openly about things on here because the people that follow me don’t know me , or they aren’t going to throw it in my face that I haven’t been okay. But, all I know is that depression is so evil, and it can take away things from you that mean the most. Thank God I’m back home getting the help that I need. I’m on the road to recovery, but it might be too late. I may have lost the person that means the most to me. Because my mind took over my body and turned me into someone I’m not. Because I did things that aren’t logical. But honestly, what hurts the most is that I don’t think he understands that. He doesn’t understand I am still myself, the person he loved. But I don’t know if he even WANTS to love me anymore. I’m trying so hard, but at the same time I feel so numb because I’m getting nothing in return it seems. I just wish there was an easy answer or easy solution to life and the obstacles that go with it. I just know how I feel and I know that won’t change, but if true love exists, why the fuck is it doing this to me. But tomorrow is a new day.
Just know I have gotten help for my own happiness, and my own well being. Just going to the doctor made weight lift off of my shoulders. Honestly the only thing that has been bothering me is your debate of loving me. But no matter what happens in this world, I am going to stand on top of it. I’m going to fulfill an amazing future for myself and my career and my passion. Thank God for an amazing family that loves me unconditionally. Thank God for pets that give the same unconditional love, too. It’s that what keeps me going.